It’s funny, isn’t it? Pretty much the whole planet uses body language to some extent, whether to flirt, threaten, piss off, or simply to stress a point. But, as in music, as in sex, people from different parts of the world express themselves in very different ways … welcome to the misinterpretations of body language.

Now, there’s a difference between what I call body language—that is, the near-unconscious movement of your body either during a conversation or in place of one—and  gestures, or symbols; both, however, come with unspoken warning signs. Take the latter, for example. Perhaps the most well-known dual definition of a gesture is the two-fingered “V” that we hold up in the U.S. to signify “peace.” (It’s next to impossible, by the way, to find a photo of a group of young Japanese without someone flashing that sign.) However, flip the sign around in the U.K., and you’re essentially telling them to go screw themselves. Hold it an angle in Rome and you might merely be asking for a cigarette.

But there are other examples: the “a-okay” gesture (you know, making a circle with your thumb and forefinger, with your three other fingers extended) means almost the opposite in France, and is actually a rude gesture in Brazil. Scratching your chin in Italy in just the wrong way tells the world you don’t give a crap about whatever they have to say. Give someone a thumbs-up sign in Bangladesh, and you’re essentially flipping them the finger. In Greece, if you lift your chin and jerk your head back, you’re saying “no” – in Ethiopia, the same tilt of the head means “yes”. In Spain, I was often baffled when my friends would hold a fist to their heads, thumb and pinky finger spread open to imitate horns. I only got it when I learned the phrase “poner los cuernos” or “put horns on,” which meant to cheat on someone. Similarly, when a homeless man spit on my friend in Boston, it was a shockingly personal affront. If she was in Kenya, however, it might have been an affectionate gesture.

Beyond individual gestures, there is a nonverbal thesaurus that accompanies many cultures and languages. (Actually, a great resource in the U.S. is the The Nonverbal Dictionary of Gestures, Signs & Body Language Cues, by David B. Givens.) Some of these are general patterns. The Japanese, for example, are far more stiff in their body language than, say, the sinewy French. The Italians and Latins are linguistic dervishes, delighting in emphatically communicating with their bodies and requiring plenty of room to maneuver when they get really worked up about something. Sometimes these movements are so exaggerated that they seem almost farcical. On the flip side, if you don’t communicate with your body, you can seem rude. The French don’t like it too much if you keep your hands in your pockets while you talk to them.

Something as universal as counting with your fingers can be dissected and scrutinized. Go ahead, take a moment and count to five. Did you start with the index finger and end with the thumb? Yup, you’re an American. In Russia, they start with their hands open and go from pinky to thumb, slowly curling their hands into a fist.

Space and contact is important, too. I’m very American in that I need my personal space; anyone getting within a foot of me is automatically invading that sanctuary. So I was constantly irritated in India and Pakistan when other men would press up against me with no impunity. South Americans have no problem getting a little closer when they talk, but Asians are even more into their space; personal contact between formal acquaintances is at a minimum. Most of us know that in Japan, you bow rather than shake hands. In Pakistan, you’ll find heterosexual men holding hands, or even arm in arm, walking down the street. You see this in the most conservative Muslim nations, but in the U.S., two men walking with their hands clasped together would be immediately and definitively labeled “gay.” In Pakistan, it’s just manly affection.

It doesn’t help that the same gesture, with subtle inflections, can take on new meanings. Bowing is a subtle and complex art; the depth of the bow and the number of times one bows all helps identify who is bowing to whom. A bow can be a greeting, an apology, or an expression of gratitude.  The famous Indian head-shake (you know, that bobble-head movement that everybody in the West chuckles at and seems so very Indian) can be a confirmation of what you’re saying, an agreement, or an exasperated “you don’t know what you’re talking about” if it gets really vigorous.

Of course, our ways can seem just as alien abroad. It’s all a matter of perspective. But what can we infer from this international conjugation of our bodies? Merely that, just as we speak in different tongues, so do our bodies converse in their own dialects. If you don’t understand what a person is saying, try to look at the way their body is speaking to you. And, if all else fails, there’s one form of nonverbal communication that I dare say is universal: if you smile, the world will smile with you.